Resolutions for 2015

   Okay. I realize making and keeping resolutions are two very different things, but my Quixotic nature compels me to at least try.

   First, as most people do, I will try to take steps to maintain my health. (I would say “maintain and improve”, but at my age I’ll settle for the former). In order to accomplish this I will try to maintain a basic exercise regimen. Nothing too brutal, but enough to get some cardio on my days off. Having a job that requires physical activity will also help in this regard. I will also try to improve my diet. This is an instance where the younger generation is teaching the older. My son is eating healthier, eschewing red meat and transitioning to vegetarianism. Though I doubt I will go that far, I will try to decrease the amount of red meat in my diet and will try to decrease my binge eating. I will also try to pay attention to my mental health through mindfulness techniques and other practices that may be useful.

   Second, I will try to continue my education by taking advantage of free online college courses. By using random methods of choosing courses, I hope to challenge myself to learn in areas that I might not have thought I’d have an interest. I may be bored on occasion but I think it more likely I may surprise myself and awaken an interest that had been dormant.

Finally, I will try to do something creative every day. Even if it’s only 15 minutes a day as my schedule allows, I will do my best to do SOMETHING… whether it’s songwriting, poetry, prose writing, playing guitar or learning keyboards, I will try my best to do something that will cause my life to be more than just work and chores. Consider this post to be the first installment in this undertaking. We'll both see what happens.

Five Seven Five

I've been reading some Kobayashi Issa, and... well... you know... I just can't help myself.


                 1.

Summer morning haze -

Yesterday's brilliant sunlight

Now an egg yolk smear.

                2.

Friend reads my haiku,

Tapping his fingers as he

Counts the syllables.

Obsessive. Compusive. Dismissive.

   Last summer, when the family went on our vacation "down south", we stopped by the small town of Wapakoneta, OH to visit the Neil Armstrong Air and Space Museum. Naturally, as the family's resident obsessive space geek, I loved it. I saw the Gemini 8 capsule which was on display, as well as numerous items related to Neil Armstrong's life as well as mementos

from the flight of Apollo 11.

   I did, however, notice a mistake in one of the displays. They showed replicas of the two Westinghouse television cameras carried on Apollo 11. One was a color camera carried in the Command Module and the other was the smaller black and white camera that sent pictures from the lunar surface. The signs indicating which was which were reversed. I was going to mention this to someone at the museum, but when I noticed the only ones there were an elderly couple who looked happy to be serving their community by volunteering at the museum, I decided against it. I had the impression they were there for something to do rather than because of abiding love of spaceflight history. I'd have felt like I was harassing someone's great-grandmother for having an incorrect setting on their computer. Yes, I'm persnickety about my space facts, but why be a buzzkill? And so the Apollo 11 camera gaffe went uncorrected - at least on that day. Hell, it may STILL be wrong. In case it is, and for the sake of those few who A.) plan to visit the Neil Armstrong Air and Space Museum in the near future and B.) actually give a damn about this sort of thing, the camera on the left side of the display depicts the color camera and the camera on the right is a replica of the Lunar Module camera that landed on the moon.

   So now you know.

Through Dark Trees

   There's a painting I love. It hangs on the wall of the University of Michigan Medical Center's Frankel Cardiovascular Center. Specifically, it's on floor 2A in the hallway across from the consultation rooms. Unless you happen to work at the hospital or are having heart problems serious enough to require a discussion with a cardiologist, you're not likely ever to see this painting. The name of the work is "Through Dark Trees". The artist's name is Richard Kooyman. Aside from the fact he painted this work, I knew absolutely nothing about this artist.

   The painting's theme is simplicity itself. Most of the canvas depicts a gloomy dark - mostly black, in fact - forest. But through a gap in the darkness shines a vibrant, sunlit beach and an azure lake extending to the horizon. Upon viewing the painting, one gets the impression this glimpse of the grand vista was a hard-earned reward for a long slog through the forest. And one can almost feel the warmth to be experienced by stepping from the chill woods onto the serene shore. This resonated with me since I was having to drive over 60 miles to work every day, dealing with Ann Arbor's notorious parking, sardine-dense shuttle buses and the high cost of having to fill my gas tank twice weekly. I was away from home so much due to traffic and the length of the commute that it seemed I was either working, getting ready for work or driving to and from work. I was physically and mentally exhausted but, having to support my family, I had no choice but to carry on.

   I kept hoping I could find a position on the University of Michigan's Flint campus. It would be much closer to home. I remember during each Christmas season hoping would it be my last one at the hospital. But I found myself still there the next Christmas. And the next. I was in those seemingly endless dark woods. But I kept hoping one day I would finally gaze upon that sunny lake out in the distance. And that painting kept the hope alive. Each day I walked by it, my gloom was made easier to bear.

Then, after a seeming eternity, it happened. I was interviewed for a custodial position in Flint and I was offered the position. Soon, the long drives and short stays at home would be a thing of the past. In a very real sense, I felt as though I could finally see the beach through all those dark trees.

Despite the hassles I experienced during my time commuting to Ann Arbor, there are some things I will miss. The nurses on the CPU floor, for one. They showed me the greatest love and support during my time there and I couldn't ask for better people to work with. And, of course, I will miss that painting. I may not understand art in an advanced way, but I know that painting communicated to me and gave me hope in a way mere words could never do.

And now, new adventures await. I hope the beach is as nice as it looked all these years!

I Was Bored. I Have No Other Excuse.

   Once upon a time, a culinary scientist was testing a new smartphone app he had created. With it, one could point the smartphone at any food item and that item would give information about itself – in its own words – that would help inexperienced cooks in preparing those items. After much work, the app was ready for testing. The scientist went to the local grocery store to try it out. First, he pointed it at a pepper.

   “I am a pepper. I was grown in Mexico. I am moderately hot and can be used in sauces for added flavor.”

   The scientist was ecstatic! He tried other items:

   “I am a potato. I was grown in Idaho. I contain starches and carbohydrates and if cooked at 400 degrees for one hour I will make an excellent baked potato.”

   Another success! Encouraged, the scientist tried more complex foods.

   “I am a tiramisu. I was made by a chef in New York from the finest ingredients, including excellent mascarpone cheese. I am the perfect dessert for special occasions and holidays.”

   Finally, the scientist decided to test the new app on an apple pie:

   “The CIA and the Trilateral Commission are using secret hydrogen bomb technology to undermine the continental shelf in order to cause earthquakes! Oswald didn’t act alone! He was helped by space aliens who used special mind wave technology to get rid of the President because he knew too much about Atlantis!”

   Confused, the scientist tried again:

   “The Norwegians are trying to corner the silver market in a conspiracy with a secret advanced race of super-intelligent rodent-beings so they can destabilize the internet in order to hide the truth about homeopathy!”

   Disappointed, the scientist went home to figure out what went wrong. Despite much tweaking, whenever he tried the app on a pie, he got the same kind of bizarre diatribe. One day, he mentioned his problem to a mathematician friend.

   “Oh!” said the mathematician. “I know what the problem is!”

   “What?” asked the culinary scientist.

   “Your app is working fine! It’s the pie that’s the problem!”

   “Really? How so?”

   “Well,” replied the mathematician, “as any mathematician can tell you, pie is irrational!”

Theological Insights from Olympic Beach Volleyball

   While watching the Olympic beach volleyball competition recently, I noticed the American women’s team practiced a small ritual after each point. They would smack their hands together in a double high five, then hug, then do another double high five and then one of them would point skyward, apparently acknowledging the role of the Almighty in spiking the ball over the net and leaving the competition with a face full of sand.

   It was that final gesture which caught my attention. The volleyball player was pointing directly overhead… to what astronomers call the zenith point. This would imply that God is in a specific place in the heavens - for if, as some people state, God is “everywhere” there would be no need to point anywhere to recognize Him. God is just as much in the sand beneath the players’ feet as he is in the sky. But based on the pointing of the player it would appear that God was in the sky at a point directly over the London Olympic beach volleyball court at the beginning of the match.

   As the match continued, however, I noticed something intriguing. The American volleyball players continued to curry Divine favor, kept scoring and consequently kept hugging, high-fiving and pointing… directly overhead. As someone with an amateur interest in astronomy I found this fascinating. If God was indeed at a fixed point in the sky, that point would appear to move over time from our Earth-bound perspective as the Earth rotated about its axis. In other words, as the match continued, the volleyball player should have been pointing at a point in the sky slightly off the overhead point she was pointing to at the beginning of the match. Yet she kept pointing directly overhead.

   This could only mean one thing! Something profound in its theological and astronomical implications: God is in a geostationary orbit! Like a communication satellite, God is revolving in the heavens at the same rate as the Earth’s rotation. Thus, from our perspective, he remains in the same point in the sky at all times.

   It would also imply that in parts of the world opposite London, God is never in the sky at all! The Antipode of London (the point opposite the Earth from that city), in fact, is near New Zealand. Do religious New Zealand volleyball players point at the ground when they score a point on home turf? Is divine power unable to pass through the center of the Earth? If so, that would make New Zealand quite literally the most God-forsaken spot on the planet. That would make sense, I suppose. After all, could a creature as bizarre as the Kiwi have been intelligently designed by an All-Powerful Creator? This may also explain why the Olympic Games have never been held in New Zealand.

   So much to think about. So many questions. Maybe someday the American women’s beach volleyball team will tell all!

Why I Love My Kindle

Years ago, at the now-defunct Border’s books in Flint I spied a massive box, about the size of a steamer trunk, containing The Complete Works of Mark Twain. It carried a price tag of several hundred dollars but I was still drooling. It was something I would have loved to own, but the inconvenience of the size of the box combined with the steep price steered me away.

   Fast forward a good number of years. I now was working as a janitor at the Cardiovascular Center in Ann Arbor. I loved reading on my break time as much as ever, but taking books back & forth was beginning to become a hassle. Small books weren’t too much of a problem since I could always stuff them in my coat pocket in the wintertime but larger books and books during the warm weather months weren’t as convenient.

   I had been wondering whether one o’those newfangled electronic gizmos for reading books would be a good solution for me. I had first seen them on vacation several years earlier in Washington D.C. Many commuters were engrossed in reading them on the Metro. It looked like a convenient way to enjoy reading in busy, chaotic circumstances. I wanted to know more about them, and as it turned out the weekend supervisor at the hospital had just purchased a Kindle and she let me check it out. I was immediately sold. It was easy to read and easy to use. Plus, I could download lots of public domain titles from such sources as Project Gutenberg and the Internet Archive.

   One of the criticisms of the Kindle (usually from those who don’t yet own them) comes from people who say they like the feel of holding a physical book. I completely understand that. Heck, I like physical books, too. But this isn’t an “either/or” proposition. Using a Kindle doesn’t mean you can no longer read regular books again. It’s something one uses in addition to physical books. Not in place

of them.

   So finally, last year, I saved up my birthday money and bought my Kindle. I’ve never regretted it. I’ve been reading an insane amount of material… much of it old and obscure historical works from the previously mentioned internet sites which are available for free. I also enjoy reading old technical papers from NASA which are posted on the history sections of their website.

   But one of the most amazing finds for my Kindle was an electronic version of The Complete Works of Mark Twain. Yes, not only was it available online, the price was a mere 99 cents!!! Naturally, I clicked the download button and within a few minutes I was the proud owner of a work I’d wanted those many years before. Cheap, easy, convenient. What’s not to like?

   Lest you think I’m merely being a shill for Amazon, I would like to state clearly there are certain things I DON’T like about how Amazon does business. One thing I don’t like is you can’t order a magazine subscription using a gift card. Seems kinda silly to me. I think it’s related to another thing I don’t like. Namely, you can’t just order a magazine subscription for your Kindle for a finite period of time. If you wanted to order a 1-year subscription to a given magazine for X amount of dollars, you can’t do it. You can only give them your credit card number and get an open-ended subscription and have your account billed indefinitely until such time as you actively cancel the subscription. I do NOT like that. I want to pay a given amount of money for a given good or service and be done with it. If I want more later, I’LL make the decision to renew.

    Heck, even on subscriptions to the print versions of magazines they will automatically renew your subscription and keep billing you unless you cancel it. I found that by going to the website of a magazine itself I could not only get a print subscription for a finite period, it was cheaper than the price charged by Amazon as well.

    That having been said, however, the Kindle itself has been a welcome presence in my daily routine. Not only does it excel in its primary role as an electronic reading device, it also has basic e-mail and web browsing functions. Nothing fancy, mind you, but it gets the job done when no other internet access is available. When I’m taking a break at work and need to let my wife know I may be late getting home, a quick e-mail from the Kindle does the trick.

   The Kindle I have is the one with the monochrome screen. Since I bought it, there’s now the Kindle Fire with full color display and (from what I understand anyway) a more powerful processor and enhanced internet connectivity. Yeah, that would be neat, but on a janitor’s salary money IS an object and for now my old reliable Kindle is handling things well. Along with the trusty old Sony ICF-2010 shortwave radio which I’ve had for decades, it’s one of the favorite material things I own.

A Lesson

The most valuable lessons in life are sometimes those which happen when you simply think about everyday things in a new way.

 I remember in 1990 when the Americans With Disabilities Act was passed. I was working at the Public TV station in Flint at the time and we were required to sit through some videoconferences explaining the law and its ramifications. I figured it was only marginally relevant to me. I didn't have a physical handicap. Neither did the employees I supervised. If the new laws made the lives of disabled people a bit better, that was fine, but as far as I was concerned this was all stuff that would take place in the background.

 One of the immediate results of the ADA was the rather old building which housed the TV station was upgraded to make it more accessible to those with disabilities. One such upgrade was the addition of a push button outside the entry door which would automatically open that door when pushed. I had no problem opening that door anyway, so I figured it made no difference to me either way. But then we started airing telecourses for a local Community College. One of my jobs was to haul the weekly load of videotapes from a building located across campus back to the TV studio. On some weeks, these heavy tapes had to be carried by yours truly in an cumbersome box requiring all my strength to carry. And guess what? When I arrived breathless at the entry door and my hands were full, I was able to push the access button with my elbow, have the door automatically open and easily walk inside.

 I've often thought about that incident in the years which followed. In making things a little better for one group, we - sometimes in unintended and unplanned ways - make things a little easier for ourselves as well. Ever since, when questions of rights for minority groups have come up, I have tended to err on the side of wanting to maximize the rights of such groups. My reasoning is that not only would expansion of those rights be good in and of themselves, but there might, when one least expects it, be benefits for us all.

Comments

I've recently found out that people have posted comments to my posts only to have these comments disappear. Please know that I have NOT been deleting them. I don't know the cause of the problem but I will try to figure it out and correct it if possible. Thanks fer yer patience!

Some Thoughts and Another Damned Haiku

When it comes to my employment history, it seems I've lived backwards. The conventional wisdom is that one puts up with crappy jobs when starting out and after "paying one's dues" one is rewarded with a more enjoyable job and better working conditions.
Me? I once had a job I loved and excelled in. It was close by, I had understanding supervisors and I was well compensated. Now? It's a daily 125-mile round trip slog so I can clean toilets and deal with a sketchy supervisor who treats most of his employees like shit.
How bad is he? He refuses to let me have my 50th birthday off despite the fact I have plenty of vacation hours saved up and 23 years seniority at the University. What a dick.
Today, I toured the University of Michigan with my son. He is doing exceptionally well in high school and has a very good chance of being accepted. It was hard to contrast my grizzled survivor-mode existence with the optimistic the-world-lies-ahead-of-you vibe of the new prospective students taking the tour. There was a part of me that wished it could be me looking forward to college. All the knowledge. All the opportunities. All the freshness and excitement of new possibilities. But I had my chance. It's time for me to step aside and let the new generation have its chance. It's time for them to dream.
And time for me to get back to scrubbing toilets. Someone has to pay for it all...

Thinking of my son
On the cusp of adulthood.
The whole world awaits.

Sign of the Times

This, I presume, implies their competitors' customers are some sort of inferior stale lukewarm coffee. Or something.
(Sign at a Marathon station in Davison, MI. January 2012.)

Imponderable

Something that has long puzzled me: the Book of Revelation was written somewhere around 70 AD or so. LSD wasn't invented until 1943.
The fact that something THAT fucked-up could have been written without the help of acid is TRULY a miracle!

Still Kicking

Life can certainly get dull if all one does is work and/or recover from and get ready for more work. There’s a part of me that craves a creative outlet, though time constraints often prevent any efforts in that direction. It is for that reason, therefore, that I am happy to have actually written a new song… my first in many, many months. I don’t really know if it’s any good or not and I likely won’t get any feedback until I get a chance to play the demo to my fellow Ice Halo bandmates next weekend, but it just feels good to have written something… anything!... again.

The New Front Line in the Culture Wars: The Janitor's Closet!

In my new incarnation as a janitor at a medical institution (one in which yours truly has recently won an award for best cleaning of patient rooms, thank you very much) my workday begins and ends with a trip to the janitor's closet. Throughout my worklife, I have seen more of these closets than I’d like to admit. They are all pretty much the same. There’s a sink in the corner with a drain for pouring out filthy pail water at the end of the day. There are racks on the walls for hanging dust mops and brooms. There are shelves for boxes of trash bags and various cleaning solvents. And they are almost universally too small. Even the closet at my prestigious institution is so small that once the cleaning cart is parked inside one must squeeze around it to access the supply shelves. So imagine my surprise when I heard there was a move afoot by a state legislative group (in Virginia, to be precise, but the movement has to start somewhere and if it catches on in Virginia, then it will surely spread to our beloved Great Lakes State eventually) designed to tackle the problem of small janitor’s closets! Who are these wonderful people? Obviously some sort of commie pinko labor-loving outfit that wanted to “stick it to the man” by symbolically reforming the most lowly physical manifestation of the working environment, right?
Well, no. Actually the folks advocating this reform are Conservative Republicans.
Republicans?
As Ned Flanders might say, that’s a real head-scratcher, right there. I thought these people were against government regulations in the workplace. But who am I to be so prejudiced? Maybe they just started to feel sorry for the lowly blue collar working stiffs and decided to give us poor janitors a break. Or perhaps (and more likely) they’re getting huge campaign contributions from large corporate donors who make janitor’s closets. Dunno. Either way, we’re gonna get bigger closets, so who cares?
But wait. These Republicans don’t want to have these regulations for janitor’s closets at all workplaces. Just certain ones.
What? Well, okay… maybe there are some places that are too small to be able to afford to re-do their existing janitor’s closets. Some small mom & pop companies, perhaps. So I guess I could see why the Republicans would want to give these smaller places a break. But still, maybe the rest of us who work in larger (and richer) places will soon get our palatial 50-square-foot janitor’s closets! Right?
Well, no. Not exactly. The regulations aren’t based on the size of the company, but on what type of facility they are. Specifically, medical institutions.
Well, that kinda sucks for about 90% of the janitorial workforce out there, but for those people like me who earn their bread cleaning medical facilities, it’s still something I can look forward to, huh?
Nope.
Not all medical facilities will be required to expand their janitor’s closets.
Okay… so which ones WILL be required to expand them?
Only medical facilities that provide abortion services.

Uh…huh.

So… Republicans are against intrusive government regulations on grounds that such regulations would inhibit the ability of employers to do what they do. Unless the Republicans happen to disagree with what those employers happen to do. In which case it’s fine to pile on as many costly regulations as possible just to be a pain in the ass.
So… I guess they don’t really care about us lowly janitors at all and we’ll have to live with our cluttered closets forever and ever amen.
Unless we work at an abortion clinic.
Their closets will be awesome!

Fuck the Republicans!

September Haiku

Trees in new colors
Know that it's fall, but the sky
Still thinks it's summer.

The New Migrant Workers

A strange thing is happening here in the Flint area. Something that has happened to me and now, I notice, to many others ‘round our beloved Buick City. We live here, but no longer work here.

When I finally managed to snag a job in Ann Arbor, I thought I was the only one who had to drive over an hour to my place of employment. That’s not true, as it turns out. In my own neighborhood, the lady across the street who once also worked in Flint, now has to commute to Bay City for her job. Another neighbor goes past Lansing. One must drive to Pontiac. Others in the area, I’m told, are forced to commute as far away as Grand Rapids and Mount Pleasant! It seems we have become a force of migrant workers, though unlike the agricultural laborers usually associated with that phrase, we drive back home at night. And if the others are anything like me, they will generally have just enough time to eat dinner and get ready for the next workday. Time for relaxation, socializing and puttering around the house are at a minimum.

I suppose one could reasonably ask why the hell we don’t simply move closer to where our jobs are. That’s a fair enough question but I think it has a reasonable answer. First of all, trying to sell a house in the Flint-area market would be an exercise in frustration. It’s not as though Flint is a hotbed of real estate activity. Trying to sell a house in this environment would be like trying to sell Playgirl subscriptions at a Lesbian convention. It just ain’t gonna happen.
Second, and more importantly, many of those working far from home have spouses and/or other household members who still have Flint-area jobs. Moving closer to one job would mean moving farther away from the other.
Finally, at least in my own case, there are children involved. My own children are enrolled in the Davison Public School District. Pulling them out would not only disrupt their personal and social lives, but that particular school district is doing a fantastic job educating our children. They are thriving both academically and socially. For me, my long drive is a sacrifice worth making for the sake of my children. Moving would disrupt and most likely hinder their educational progress.

And so I make the commute. As do others. We do this to earn a living. All the while the teabaggers call working people lazy and overpaid.

I keep hearing talk of class warfare. Honestly, I wish it was true. I’m so frustrated with what we working people have to deal with. I’m usually peaceful, but I think it’s time to stir things up a bit. I’m ready for some war.

But it won’t happen. We’re nothing but a bunch of stupid sheep.

Just waiting to get fleeced.

And sliced into lamb chops.

Rain...

It seems the older I get the more I appreciate the sound of a gentle rain shower.

Apologies in Advance...

Once upon a time, someone with too much time on their hands was pondering the name of a popular craft store chain.
“Have you ever noticed,” he remarked to a friend “that despite the name of the store their buildings don’t actually have a lobby?”
“So?” replied the friend.
“SO?!? I think that’s an outrage and something ought to be done about it!”
“Like what?” asked the friend.
“Like I’m going to hire some people to make my argument to Congress until this injustice is rectified!”
“You mean…”
“That’s right! I’m going to start a Hobby Lobby Lobby Lobby!”

Things is Changin'

Last night, I watched the premiere of a science series called “Curiosity” on the Discovery channel. The title of the first episode was “Did God Create the Universe?” Nothing like starting out with a bang (a “Big” one, at that… yuk, yuk). I watched, expecting the usual watered-down mush in which the hard science is played down for fear of offending the religious sensibilities of some viewers. But I was pleasantly surprised to see that this series did no such thing. The answer the program gave to the titular question was a resounding “No!”
The fact that a leading scientist (in this case, Stephen Hawking) didn’t invoke a divine creator is nothing new, of course. The fact that this was presented clearly on a mainstream cable channel, however, is. That this has happened at all, I think, is one of those quiet milestones the ramifications of which will not be appreciated until much later. I couldn’t imagine something like this ever having aired even ten years ago. Things are changing. Atheism, if not exactly yet mainstream, is at least emerging to the point at which it can be mentioned in polite company. It’s no longer something to be ashamed of or to be kept hidden.
And that’s a change I welcome.

Even When I TRY to be Good, I'm Evil

Admittedly, my position as a custodian in a hospital isn’t the most glamorous gig around, but I at least was under the impression that what I was doing was helpful to people. If I do a good job cleaning a hospital room, I figure, the chances of them getting an infection are reduced. What could be bad about that?
Hospitals are places people can go to get better. That’s a good thing. Right?
Well, maybe not. No less a person than Mohandas K. Gandhi had a rather strong opinion about hospitals. Writing in 1909, Gandhi said the following:

“Hospitals are the instruments that the Devil has been using for his own purpose, in order to keep his hold on his kingdom. They perpetuate vice, misery and degradation, and real slavery.”

What??? I work at an instrument of the Devil? Damn! And here I was TRYING to be good for a change. I guess I just can’t get away from being evil.

Still, seeing as I’m now in league with Satan, I’d think the guy downstairs would have a little more clout in getting me a better parking space at work. I’m just sayin’…