Anyone who has been watching the news lately may have noticed a recent spate of seismic activity around the globe. As a science nerd, I had assumed this was all due to geological forces such as the movement of tectonic plates. But it appears there’s another theory. According to a Muslim cleric in Teheran named Hojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi, these earthquakes were actually caused by immodestly dressed women!
One scientifically minded female blogger, thinking as any good science geek would in such a circumstance, decided rather than simply brush aside this geogynistic theory, it should be subjected to strict scientific scrutiny. She has therefore proposed a bold experiment: on Monday, April 26, she has called on women volunteers to wear their most immodest cleavage-exposing clothes in order to see if this mass immodesty will provoke the Earth’s crust into spasms of seismic activity.
Should this unprecedented display of mass mammary power prove awesome enough to trigger a large “Boobquake”, geology textbooks may need to be completely re-written!
So should any women out there feel so inclined, now is your chance to help out the cause of science and critical thinking! Sadly, according to the cleric, I lack the anatomy required to affect the fault lines of our planet, so I cannot actively participate. But for those of you who can spare your breasts for a day for the cause of science, this coming Monday should provide an opportunity to help us learn more about the forces that shape our world.
It’ll be a good day to be a geek!
It might help if such scientifically minded (and ample boobed) women had pictures taken of themselves and posted them to a website such as boobquake.com, for the whole world to see.
ReplyDeleteObviously it's not the boobages themselves which are causing the earthquakes, it's the immodesty of the boobages. Thus someone has to see the boobage for it to be immodest.
I am more than willing to play my part in this scientific endeavor by seeing as much boobage as humanly possible (without getting caught by my wife, of course).
Good point. Perhaps having men actually scandalized by the immodest behavior is an integral component of the process by which the Earth's crust is adequately affected. More research will be needed! We will also need to see if there is a correlation between breast size and degree of seismic activity, as well as correlations between the number of immodestly exposed women, the degree of immodesty and the magnitude of the earthquakes...
ReplyDeleteHell, I think I may apply for a Templeton grant!!!!
If this was the 80s, I'd recommend we make a movie staring David Lee Roth as the scientist.
ReplyDeleteDid you hear that there was an earthquake on Monday southeast of Taiwan? Hmmm . . .
ReplyDeleteRegarding the seismic activity and cup size, hey, there's a federal study funded by grants right there!