Tuesday, February 16, 2010

If It Weren't for Bad Luck...

The kids had Monday off for Presidents' Day. The Sloan Museum had a presentation on "Michigan Birds of Prey". My daughter, being a huge nature fan, wanted to go. Unfortunately, pre-registration was required - a fact I didn't realize until Saturday. It turned out that the Sloan doesn't do registration on the weekends, but we were told that there were still openings available and that if we showed up a half-hour before the presentation, we should be able to attend. So that's what we did... only to find out there were no openings left. Maddie made certain to inform me I was the Worst Dad in the World. That, combined with the skull-bursting headache that had been plaguing me all day just made me feel like I was living in a magical world of sunflowers and cupcakes.

Of course, the way my luck has been going lately, if we HAD been able to get into the Birds of Prey session, this is what likely would have happened:

"Hi, kids! Today's bird presentation is brought to you by CAMP: the Christian Animal Ministry Program! There was a slight typo in the flyer for today's event. Instead of "Birds of Prey" it should have read 'Birds That Pray'! Here's Polly the Parrot to start things off... Hey, Polly... can you tell the boys and girls who loves them?"

"Awwwwk! JESUS! Awwwk!"

"That's right, Polly! Jesus loves us all! Look at the beautiful feathers God created for Polly! Isn't that wonderful? Some evil scientists like Charles Darwin said that God DIDN'T create you, and for that blasphemy, Darwin is now burning in eternal agony in the fires of HELL! We Christians all know that God created you just as you are about 6,000 years ago! Now, let's have Millie the Mynah Bird sing about how... like birds... we should "flock" to church every Sunday!"

Yeah... just my luck...

1 comment:

  1. Similar experience for our family too. Free tickets to a haunted trail at Halloween were left at my husband's office. We thought, "Hey! Free!". Standing in line for an hour with our two teens, we approached the entrance and were asked to sign a waiver excusing Victory Chapel re. liability. We asked and sure enough it was a church sponsored event. Down here in the south, that has a unique meaning. Haunted church events include gays and feminists burning in hell scenes, abortion clinic with piles of baby dolls mangled, and the devil preaching against the ACLU...We turned around and sold our free tickets at half price and rented videos.